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memory vs mmap
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Note that a recent patch allows "memdb" databases to be shared by multiple connections (not shared-cache) in the same process.  

See <https://www.sqlite.org/src/info/533fffc4a39b01c3>

Presumably this will, after testing, be included in the next release.

To share a memory database across multiple processes, you need to put it in a shared-memory filesystem (ramdisk or /dev/shm for example).